Exclusivelyexclusive2’s Weblog

September 7, 2007

I guess I took an L

Filed under: Uncategorized — exclusivelyexclusive2 @ 7:07 pm

back in high school. But it wasn’t my fault cause I didn’t know who Common Sense was at the time.

So this had to be like 1994/1995. I was selected by my high school to go on a free trip to the University of Chicago. They were sponsoring a trip for high performing minority high school juniors to go check out their campus and influence us to go to the U of Chicago.

So, of course, I was like “oh, hellz yeah I’m goin.” So I went to LGA and met up with two other girls from NYC high schools (one of which was in no way a minority–she said her mom was Cuban. Whatever. She was white) and we went to Chicago for the weekend.

I was SO excited. I just knew I was gonna see Michael Jordan or Scottie Pippen in the airport. So we got there and after talking a very thorough look around the airport, I determined that Mike and Scottie were not around. But that was okay. I could still see them in downtown Chicago.

So we all get in a cab and stupid us, we ask the cabbie “What ocean is that?” And he looks at us like we’re retards and says “it’s Lake Michigan.” Whatever. We live in NYC so we are better than you anyway, Mr. Cabbie.

Then we get to campus. Immediately I could tell it was lame. The students sponsoring us were so BORING. They were just boring–I picked up on their boringness immediately. They took us to Pizzeria Uno’s and I insisted that they bring me the thin crust pizza. That Chicago style pizza really grossed me out. That was another strike against that school. No way was I going to school someplace where people thought pizza was literally some type of pie.

Then they took us for some “fun”–which consisted of cooking weenies on a little grill on a lawn and watching pulp fiction on a big screen. I was like “this cannot be what college is like. Don’t tell me all my cllege fantasies were just that: fantasies.”

So then this one student sponsor was like “You guys are free for the night. You can do whatever you want. There’s a bunch of stuff going on. I personally am gonna go see this cat rap. He’s supposed to be really good. he goes by the name of Common Sense.” Well, I had never head of Common, but I wanted to go to the rap concert anyway. But all the stupid girls beside me were like “that’s okay. we don’t wanna see the rap show.” So as not to be seen as the girl who wanted to kick it with all the boys, I was like “Yeah, I”m just gonna stay on campus and see what there is to see.”

BIG MISTAKE.

I wound up watching a very terrible performance of student theater–Cat on a Hot Tin Roof. In fact, it was so bad, I walked out in the middle of the play and sat outside watching some random rock act perform. It was terrible.  Ater the play was over, the girls I went with came out and we walked toward a ferris wheel in the distance. But when we got there, the fair was closing for the night. All in all, a big disappointing night.

The next morning, we got up to leave and when I went to take a shower I realized I hadn’t broght a towel with me. So I asked my student sponsor if she had an extra towel–she said “no” (she was probably lying come to think of it. She just didn’t want my dead skin cells on her towel). So I had to dry off with the t-shirt I’d worn to bed. Disgusting. Then as we left the dorm I saw two rats playing in the bushes, doing some kind of rat dance. I told the head of diversity recruiting about it. She insisted I must’ve seen some squirrels fighting. I said “ok” but thought to myself “Squirrels don’t have skinny tails, they have big bushy ones. And now I’m certain that I’m not going to college on this boring, no-towel-having, rat infested campus. But thanks for the free trip.”

Then it was off to the airport, where I spotted an athlete: Juwan Howard. At the time he’d just gone into the NBA after being part of the Fab 5 at Michigan. I was in love with Chris Webber, so I had Mitch Albom’s Fab 5 book, so I knew all about Juwan. He wasn’t Mike or Scottie, but he’d do. So I asked for his autograph. He was a bitch about it–he signed, but looked like he couldn’t be bothered and then he dropped my pen on the floor and didn’t pick it up. Then some white passenger was like “OH, wow: was that [INSERT NAME OF RANDOM BLACK NBA PLAYER HERE]?” And I was like “No, that was Juwan Howard of the Washington Bullets.” Stupid.

So then we flew home. And it wasn’t until a few months later that I heard about this Common Sense rapper again and put 2 and 2 together. I could’ve seen Common for free at the relative beginning of his career. But instead I took and L and saw a shitty student play.

Oh, well. I didn’t take the biggest L that weekend. The biggest L went to U of Chicago: next year, when the diversity recruiter called me to see if I was applying, I was like “No, thank you. I’ve already been accepted to three Ivy League Schools. But thanks for following up.”

LOL

P.S. I also remember everyone there being like “U of Chicago is a very dangerous place. The neighborhood it’s in is very, very bad. Be very, very careful.” Well, I haven’t been back to the U of Chicago since then, but I have been back to Chicago. And I just wonder “is it really that bad? Or are white people just exagerrating? Like, is it “You could get jumped or shot walking down the street” bad or just sort of in a depressed area? I’ll have to look into that.

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5 Comments »

  1. Weenies???? LOL! Yo you scored with that one B! LOL! Do you mean franks, but white people sometimes say weenies? LOL!

    Yeah, I know what it is to have played yourself lovely. I hearken back to the summer of oh, let’s say 1994 or 1995 can’t exactly call it, when I was dating a white boy named who thought that he was blacker than me READ: a white boy who had to have his “hat to the back & who who gotta wear his pants down too low” and say, ” Nahmsayin'” ovah and ovah and ovah again nauseum. We went with his other wigger friends to Prospect Park and I heard all of this raucous rap music afar off. I saw other wiggers and I asked what was going on and they said, “This hot new rapper Biggie Smalls is performing for free.” Wigger #1 says, “you want to check it out?” I rolled up my lip and said, “No!” Next year, a Biggie Smalls song was playing at my prom and bad Boy was on and poppin’ Whamp Whamp! I played myself big time and missed history in the making.

    Comment by Christeenah — September 7, 2007 @ 7:54 pm

  2. Also, I know what you mean about people saying that something or somewhere is dangerous and it is a matter of opinion. Case in point: traveling to Brazil and eryone and they mama is saying, “Be careful. People get robbed all of the time.”

    I was petro when we rolled up in there. For real! Then, come to find out that it’s people who are in the minority THERE who should TENHA CUIDADO and NOT because the people who look like me steal, rob and kill, but because those of the Caucasian persuasion aka White Americans, become afeared in “third world countries” and often create grand dramas of criminal potentials in their minds before they get there and then they wind up becoming self-fulfilling prophecies and get jacked. In Brazil, the natives were not attacking me, not attempting to steal my watch, neither were they harassing me for money. Neither in Senegal. Neither in Puerto Rico. Neither in Aruba. Neither in the Bahamas. Neither in the Chi’s South Side. Neither in DC outside of Howard U’s campus. In fact, never have I ever been endangered by the wild “natives.”
    And I know what you’re thinking…yeah, I really did go all of those places! LOL!

    Anyway, Lesson of the Day: In the famous words of Jamiroquai…”Paranoia will destroy ya.”

    In the famous words of my dada and millions of other wise parents, “If you assume, you make an Ass out of you and me.”

    In my own famous words, “Question! Question! Question!”

    The Lord is my light and my salvation whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life. Of whom shall I be afraid? Definitely not racist tinged code orange warnings that are based on more fiction than fact. Okay??????????????????????? Awrite!

    Comment by Sister Soul — September 7, 2007 @ 8:39 pm

  3. Did I see the scriptures get straight quoted on this piece? Amen!

    Comment by lipgloss23 — September 7, 2007 @ 8:55 pm

  4. Yes, lipgloss23, ’cause Gawd is evrywhere & ’cause “the earth is the Lords’a nd the fullness thereof!”

    Comment by Sister Soul — September 7, 2007 @ 9:08 pm

  5. LOL. Whamp Whamp What it Do?! Biggie Smalls is a bigger L than Common. At least Common is still alive and I cna go see him perform, albeit for $$$$.

    Yeah, white people exaggerate (sp?!). Evrything is dangerous to them. I’m sure when they drive through my neighborhood and see the graffitti on the store gates they’re like “this neighborhood is dangerous.” Meanwhile, it’s only been in predominately white neighborhoods that I’ve ever felt scared or threatened. I walked from Bed Stuy to Bushwick at like 12 AM and nothing happened to me. Whamp whamp what it do?! Holla. LOL.

    Comment by exclusivelyexclusive2 — September 7, 2007 @ 11:32 pm


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